"Diplomacy, the art of letting some one have it your way"

 

For many years I have this message on my desk - "DIPLOMACY - The art of letting someone have it your way"

          -Daniele Vare (Italian Diplomat)

I bought this paper weight in a gift shop in 2004 because of what that message represented to me at that time. I liked it that much, that I got two instead of one, thinking on giving one as a gift to someone special for me. But, after so many years, both of them are still in my home office. Many times the message has intrigued  me to the point of wondering what the writer meant with those words. Would  my understanding of the message be on the same directions as Daniele Vare? It looks like he never explained it, and today, I am using his quote with my own perspective. I only hope that this point of view can complement and frame his thoughts in a way that the reference makes  him feel honored.

There are two ways to get to know people. One is by observing them, and the other is by listening to them. The first one, observing people, allow  us to learn about their actions, routines, styles, mannerism, reactions, motivations and others graphic or visual signs and expression they share. While the second, Listening to them, is a way we have to get to know their feelings, thoughts, concerns, knowledge, focus, perspective, plus their visions of life. Perhaps real listening  is not easy for every body, it is the way to find answers about people and their circumstances.

I truly believe that we learn  to be great listeners and observers with practice, and that is the way we can bring better solutions to situations and people's needs. Observing and listening are manifested when  we put sincere interest in our search for healthier solutions. In fact, many times we start understanding that many of the situations we face in our life are consequences  of our lack of attention of what is evolving in our society. We can even see it now, when the battle to remove God's words, from our message in any inter-relationship considered as "professional practice" is on, and many people is following that call in order to be "proper" in their circle.

There are times when too much of diplomacy is not good for anybody. In this particular case, I think our politeness  its corroding the values and truth that are expressed in The Declaration of Independence of this country and that shall send us a sign of alarm to be more aware of  the direction of our actions and decisions. If we live in a global world, and want to participate in social change, then we shall learn to respect everybody believe without limiting their right to speak with words of wisdom. That would be fair.

Maybe more questions needs to be raised and embraced in a personal level in order to understand the kind of changes that we are facilitating.

• Are my actions in pro of  bringing up progress in my life, and the life of many others?
• Are my  ideas of solutions based on love, education, and development?
• Are the  structures and organizations where I am  inserting my print out, receiving the benefit of my personal growth and strength or the consequence of my weakness?
• Its my vision of prosperity and progress a platform that offer opportunities  for better education and quality of life to every one.

Considering that people will always dispute for attention, recognition, interest and approval for having the truth or being right, Its great to be open and confident to share your knowledge, skills and dreams, knowing that you are not holding any good for others, you are not turning off any lights, instead you are cooperating with a bigger mission, uplifting the knowledge and awareness in many people around you. That is what I will call an awesome way to let someone have it your way.  
In order to find the best results in the development of any thing we need to be open to learn from others, to release our fears or concepts, to deliver a new message or to confront others.